I Won't Say I'm In-
by PaperDanie2
Summary: Karmy. Set after "Faking Up Is Hard To Do". Karma searches for inspiration, something to give her the solution to a problem she's been having since she got with Liam. How does she do that? With the use of nostalgia and old Disney movies. Warning: Some fluff, some Kiam stuff!


"I Won't Say I'm In –"

A/N: Alright! Hi there guys! So this is my first Karmy fic, and I got inspired by an anon's ask to _ .com _that had Karma singin' the first few lines of "I Won't Say I'm In Love" from Hercules. As a Disney fanatic I couldn't resist the opportunity! I apologize for all the Lion King references- pretend that it has to deal with the fact it turns 20 this month!

I think this'll be a two/three shot, with the last few chapters up after the season finale to have at least a little basis to write on! Now please, don't be upset by any Kiam stuff (I'm sorry btdubs), because as much as I loathe admitting it, it happened, and it's kinda important to the plot now. But other than that, here! Please enjoy!

Karma POV-

I love Disney movies. Ever since I was a little girl, with first watching classics like "Snow White and the Seven Dwarves", "Pinocchio", and "Bambi" with my parents and Zen, to more recent sleepovers with Amy singing my heart out to "Tangled", these cute little stories have led me through some of the most difficult times in my life (I still can't manage to make it through "Sleeping Beauty" since my Gam-gam passed away). So that's why I'm a bit confused. For once in my life I can finally say I've hit the 'happily ever-after', my dream come true, but that doesn't explain why I'm rummaging through old VHS tapes and DVDs to look for some sort of _answer. _ I've gotten my prince – despite the drama I caused that came before – the most wonderful, caring, handsome guy who makes me feel like I don't need to fake anything anymore. Maybe that's the problem: I'm not quite done faking it.

I've been penning after Liam for months now, and it's surreal that I can actually say that he's mine now – at least a little bit, but there's this nagging feeling at the back of my head that keeps speaking Amy's name. I filter the reasons why it's there and end up with a solid answer – I haven't told Amy about what happened with Liam and I in the Art room. It's kinda funny, not too long ago I felt like I could tell her everything that happened to me, both the good and the bad, but now I can barely speak to her without feeling like something in me is about to cave. I remember how at the Homecoming dance I called her in excitement about nearly losing my v-card, but I guess _a lot _has changed since then.

The movies are scattered around me at this point as I look for the perfect one to help with this situation. There's "101 Dalmatians", "Peter Pan", "Mulan" (Oh, the irony of a fake lesbian searching for advice in "Mulan". Though, I must say, Christina Aguilera's version of "Reflection" is one of my favorites), and "Pocahontas" to name a few, but none really get at what I'm looking for. My room's a mess right now, so when my phone rings, having to find it through the clutter is a hassle, but I finally get to it, and to my slight disappointment, it's Amy.

"Hey!" I call out as I put my phone on speaker, trying to sound as normal as possible, despite the guilt that's flooding through me.

"Hey yourself," she replies, a bit testy at the sound of it. "I haven't heard from you since the courtyard today. Is there something wrong?" The worry in her voice kind of knocks me off guard, and I feel even worse.

"No, no, everything is going good! I was just looking for a Disney movie to watch," I fiddle with my hands as I direct my attention back to the pile of movies on my floor. "Lilo and Stitch", "Atlantis", "Oliver & Company" – the list grows and grows and I don't feel compelled to watch any of them, despite how much I love each and every one.

"Oh! Do you mind if I come over then? We can marathon some. I'd like to make up for what happened at my mom's Bridal Shower…" I can tell from her voice that she's putting on that adorable apologetic face that's gotten us out of so much trouble in the past. You know, the type that's nearly impossible to say no to.

But that's not to say I'm not really considering saying no. I'm not sure if I'll be able to keep Liam and I a secret from Amy if she's too close, but before I can say anything she's talking again in a sing-song voice that puts a small smile on my face.

"I bought more frosting! It won't eat itself, you know," her smile can be heard at her reference of our almost last Girls' Weekend.

"Well, with an offer that good I can't resist," I crack, preparing for a few couple of hours of torture. "You better get here quick! It's only Tuesday, you know!"

Amy chuckles and gives a quite goodbye before hanging up the phone, and I start to freak out a bit. I glance at the time – 5:02 – and then decide to wait 'til Amy gets here to choose the movies, because there's no way I'm going to get my enlightening advice while she's in the room, so my search is off.

Another thing that's striking me as odd is how little I've been thinking of what happened with Liam today, and that's kind of upsetting me. I've finally become a woman, and in the heat of the moment it was one of the greatest things I've ever experienced, but all this guilt as really diminished the experience. I just want to talk to Amy about it, about how ready I was and how I felt after, but I can't, and that fact is driving me insane.

"_Did it hurt?" She asked at the Homecoming dance as we swayed together. _All I want to say to that now is an apologetic "no, not nearly as bad as I hurt you two in all of this mess. Like I said, I'll make it all up to you once we've officially broken up," and for some reason even that last part is sending pangs up my heart.

My thoughts can't help but wander to the past few weeks up to today, or even the train wreck of a threesome that I can't stand thinking about. I'm assured now that Amy's not into Liam, and while I should be ecstatic, I feel indifferent – maybe even disappointed. That would've made things so much easier, and it would've helped stop the occasional thoughts of that ki- of uh, the moment Amy and I had Saturday.

Luckily, the doorbell rings before my thoughts go any further and I hear a calm "Namaste" come from my Mom as she opens the door to Amy. She jogs her way up my steps and to my room, where she opens the door with a gasp.

"God, Karma! What the hell happened?" Amy answers the question herself as she looks around to see open boxes of movies and the scattered videos all around, putting the frosting down on my bed.

I give a kind of guilty smile as I tilt my head in response. "I wasn't sure what movies to watch."

A soft smile is given in return as Amy walks up to me and gives me a warm hug that I wasn't expecting, which sent tiny chills of shock down my spine. "I'm really sorry about today," she spoke quiet, as if we were the only two people in the world. She seemed to often have that effect.

"You have nothing to apologize for. Like I said, I started all this mess and you were just going along with it like the best friend in the world that you are." The guilt started to bubble up again, which made for an uncomfortable feeling in my gut, but Amy is really good at hugging so I'm having trouble ending it.

After many long, excruciating moments of warmth and pure feeling, Amy ends the hug. "So what movies have you picked out for us today, Karms?" Her voice remains soft, and I feel myself getting lost in it.

I give a little laugh, trying to disguise any betraying emotions, as I reply. "I didn't know what to pick! I've decided the last few things we watched, so I think it's your turn."

Amy studies my face for a few seconds – only giving me more anxiety – and she suddenly perks up. "We haven't watched the Lion King saga for ages…We can give that a go!"

The fact that she's trying to contain her excitement along with the smile starting to form on her face makes for one of the cutest things I've seen in a long time. If it weren't for the circumstances I put us in, I'd've kissed her square on the cheek. Yeah, cheek.

"Sounds good," I reply, but then came the task of actually _finding _the movies. We begin searching through the mess, and it takes nearly five minutes to find all three of them- "Lion King" "Lion King ½" and "Lion King 2", all the while my mind fucks me over by thinking of the irony of Amy calling me a horny parrot and the fact I had sex with Liam only hours after.

The guilt's bad, but I force myself to pretend the past few weeks never happened, and surprisingly, it works. Thinking of me and Amy before any Liam Booker, before any Art studio sex, before any "Whoas" or "I knows", allows me to focus on what's truly important- my best friend sitting only feet away from me, biting her lower lip tentatively as she pushes a strand of hair behind her ear, only adding to her flawless appeal.

Appeal as in what I'd imagine guys like Olive or whatever his name was would like. Yeah, something like that.

"Aha! Here's the last one," Amy calls out triumphantly, snapping me out of whatever little daze I was in, holding up one of the movies to prove she found it.

"Well pass me the frosting and let's get started!" Yeah, that's about the right amount of enthusiasm.

And so we begin the night with the "Lion King" sitting next to each other, singing every word like we were born for Broadway -which we are, clearly- and trying not to get tears in the frosting during _that scene. _When we were little, we assigned each other characters. I, rightfully so, was Nala , while Amy either took up Timon or Zazu depending on the day. We'd play for hours and hours and I always wondered why she never wanted to be one of the main characters, but never had the nerve to ask.

We get to the point where Timon and Pumba find Simba, and I decide to ask her. "Hey, when we were kids why did you always play as Timon rather than Nala or Simba?" Usually we don't speak when watching movies or TV, but we've seen these movies so often that it's become sort of an exception.

Amy looks as confused as I am to why I thought of that question in the first place, but without missing a beat she answers. "Well, he's obviously one of smarter characters. Not to mention we have a lot in common. He has the coolest best friend in the world," she remarks as the playfully bumps my arm, "and he always speaks his mind."

I nod in agreement, about to refocus my attention to the small screen in front of us, when Amy speaks up again, more soft and apprehensive than before . "And I did used to want to play as the Simba, but I was too afraid to ask."

I look over quizzically, but she continued before I could say anything, "Anyone in the world would want to play the Simba to your Nala."

She laughs it off quickly as if it was a joke, not leaving me much time to think about it, and we return to the movie. The nostalgia is running rampant, and for the rest of the movie we are fixated to the plot.

"Karma! You ate almost half of the frosting!" Amy playfully chastises me once the movie is over as I continue to eat the frosting, doing so in what may seem like a flirty way, but rest assured it was purely friendly.

"Fine then! Have it your way," Her banter falters as I think her eyes glanced down on my mouth – sorta like how they did during the threesome – and something catches in my throat. I'm reading too far into this. I seem to overanalyze and mistake things like with Amy and Lia-

Shit.

The guilt races back into me and for a good few minutes as "Lion King ½" is starting I could barely look in Amy's direction. It isn't until she laughs at the opening scene that I force back those feelings again and try to enjoy myself.

This movie goes by much faster than the first one, mainly due to the fact there are no interruptions and it's much more light hearted than the first. We decide it's best for a stretch break before starting "Lion King II", which is clearly Amy's favorite – despite the fact she would never admit it.

"You know," I smile as we get ready to watch the last movie, "we never really picked characters for this one…"

"Oh yeah? Well, who'd you like to be?" Amy's always thoughtful like that – asking my opinion before giving her own. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from her.

"Kiara, naturally!" It's an easy answer because I projected myself as Simba's daughter even to this day. She has a mind of her own, is brave, and she falls in love with one of her closest friends? Other than the last part we totally matched.

Amy's laugh is sweet. "Haha, surprise, surprise. I guess I'd be Timon again," she adds with a thoughtful expression, but I'm not going to allow her to get out of this that easily.

"Orrrr you could be Kovu. We both know you'd like to be him much more," I add with a wink, which makes Amy slightly flustered.

Not one to back down to a challenge like that, Amy agreed with my suggestion. We start the movie, and as our game goes we have to recite the lines of our characters. This all goes well until we get to the parts with the obvious romantic undertones. Singing "Love Will Find A Way" as a duet with Amy is nothing short of a bit awkward and we ended up laughing and laughing throughout it.

However, afterwards the mood seems to shift. I feel like there's something Amy wants to talk about, and if yesterday morning was any indication, it was our "threesome" kiss. I feel so bad for dragging her into all of this mess, especially when she showed some interest in that Oliver guy, and I can't bring myself to think that that kiss meant anything. What I felt after was simply a fluke – a blast of excitement of being able to be with Liam – nothing more. So when she opens her mouth to say something I cut her off exclaiming, "This is my favorite part!" despite not remembering where we are in the movie.

We sit the remainder in dead silence, the frosting all gone, and the movie buzzing with life. It's nearly 9:30 now, with all movies finished, and I suggest we go to sleep early because "we had a long day". She agrees and we start making up the guest bedroom, and with each passing moment I want to blurt out "I slept with Liam today," or "It was nice but not as great as I'd painted (painted. Get it? Because it was in the Art room. Heh) it to be," and the fact I couldn't tell her drove me insane. I mean, I _could_ tell her, but I couldn't. Why? Because she's been through enough and this is Liam and mine's secret, right? Right.

After her bed in the guest room is made up (I feel that sleeping in the same room wouldn't be a good idea right now), we get ready for bed, and afterwards I can tell that she's dying to stay up and talk. So we do. She mentions her Mom's wedding and having me come, and I accept instantly, and we talk some more about the movies we watched and a bit about the good old days like they just happened. Time flows by, and it's approaching 10:00, so I get up, about to say a quick 'good night', but Amy spoke up.

"Hey, Karma?"

"Yep?" I brace myself for any number of questions or comments about today or Liam, my back turned towards her.

"You make a good Kiara," She gives a smile with an expression that I've never seen on her before. I rarely see Amy as bashful, maybe a few times with that Lifeguard last summer.

"And you were my perfect Kovu," I reply, and I wish I could've taken those words back because I _really _didn't mean what they sounded like they meant and, uh, yeah – but I'm taken aback when she starts to…blush? I'm not positive, but it made me brighten up. I walked over and placed a clearly platonic kiss on her cheek, but because I was so tired and emotionally exhausted it lingered a few moments too long.

"G'night, butt face."

I walk out of her room and make a bee line straight to mine. I step over all the videos and stuff – best to clean that up later – and fall on my bed and under the covers. I finally let myself to think about the day – namely my first time with Liam. I really care for him and he was wonderful to me, and it _was _special, but now part of me wishes there were different circumstances.

As I drift closer to sleep, my mind flits over everything that led to this special day, with vague disapproval flowing through my body every time I thought of Amy._ I'll let her know sooner or later, and then everything will be back to normal _were the final thoughts before I fall asleep.

_I have the weirdest dream. I'm Meg from "Hercules" and Shane and Lauren are the Muses and they keep singing about love finding its way while eating frosting and playing 20 questions, and Liam is there too as both Hercules and Hades making sculptures and Amy's there and she kisses me on Pegasus and -Yeah, no more frosting before bed. (Un)Fortunately, I won't be remembering this when I wake up._

My alarm goes off at around 7:00, and I just had one of those nights without any dreams, which kind of sucks. I recall everything that happened yesterday, and it really hits me for the first time that I'm no longer a virgin. Taking a deep breath, I go to wake up Amy, not looking forward to keeping more secretes from those important to me. I knock on her door, and open it up to catch her in deep sleep and I literally can't stop watching her calm face and the gentle rise and fall of her chest. All of a sudden I have this urge to watch Hercules.

_A/N: Hey again! Just wanted to say thanks for reading and everything! If you have any criticisms or comments please feel free to talk to me about it! We can make it through to the finale guys, we can do it! :)_


End file.
